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Posts Tagged ‘tv’

Are You A Sports Addict?

Monday, April 7th, 2008

You may be aware that I’m still not over my incredibly painful addiction to money. Good thing I don’t suffer from the similarly debilitating sports addiction. Although sometimes I just want to kick back and watch the game! With chips and dip of all varieties… And then if I don’t like what’s happening I’ll yell at the TV! And if I really don’t like what’s going on… Well let’s just say I lose more TVs that way.

I guess it would be really bad if I was a gambling junkie on top of everything, and needed to constantly update my baseball betting picks.

Thankfully, I’m a bigger fan of betting on…the DSRL!

DVR Lets Kids Watch Dirty Shows

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

I just realized, DVR changes everything! I took a class once where a legal case was mentioned about how some kids pulled some stunt they saw on some TV show. So the court decided to force networks to broadcast the darker material later at night, after kids go to bed.

I've also noticed uncut versions of adult cartoon shows like "Family Guy" and "Drawn Together" (I hate "Drawn Together") aired after midnight. So, kids will never know, right? Wrong!

One of the shows I like is "Seven Days." Time travel show from the late '90's. Airs on Spike TV at 3:00am. But I don't want to stay up that late just to watch it. So, DVR to the rescue!

Some parents might give their kids Tivo (after all, the guy in the commercial did). And the kid says, "Mom and Dad don't know, but I'm going to record this Secret Stash episode at 1:00am and watch it tomorrow. Hee hee!"

So now the court's decision will have little impact in homes where the kids have access to DVR. I love technology, but it's like this is a whole new can of worms!

Ok, so parents could probably block access to those specific episodes. But what a chore! Go through, down the line, episode by episode… And if you just block the series, the kids could complain. "But Mom, I wanted to watch the edited version!" Most parents probably haven't even thought about this stuff, because they don't watch those shows and aren't aware that the uncut versions are available after the Witching Hour.

But probably, most parents didn't get their kids DVR. So what's the problem? No problem, man…Be cool…here, just…just take the cash and go…

Jericho Series Finale Was Awesome

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

I watched "Jericho" off and on before. Then it went away. Writers Strike. Then the strike ended, and that seemed to coincide with "Jericho's" return.

From what I've heard, the series was totally canceled. Then a bunch of people sent nuts in as a reference to a line from the show. They sent them to the producer, or the studio head? Anyway, their point was made, and the abrupt ending of the show was undone. The show continued until a conclusive wrap-up could occur. And boy did it! Fantastic.

For those who didn't know, "Jericho" was a show about what happens to one town in the aftermath of a nuclear strike perpetrated on U.S. soil. A bunch of cities were destroyed, the government turned upside down, towns were at war over limited resources… The show kept evolving until Ravenwood (i.e., Blackwater) and the government took over the town of Jericho.

Man, I wasn't super impressed by all of the episodes, but the finale seems to justify the whole series. I think I want it on DVD!

Asphalt, Aciphex, and Aspercreme

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

I was watching television, as I'm sometimes prone to do, and I encountered a Gatorade commercial saying, "Without sweat, [a sporting arena] is just [a meaningless location]." Like, without sweat, a baseball diamond is just an oddly designed lawn. I guess their argument makes a little sense, because most people sweat when playing sports, and if they're not sweating, they're probably not playing, which renders the sporting arena useless. But they threw in one phrase that stuck out for me… Without sweat, [something] is just a "patch of hot asphalt."

The first time I heard it, I thought, "Did they just say 'hot piece of asphalt?' Ha ha, clever… You brainwashers!" I figured they tossed in something that sounded sexual in order to grab a casual viewer's attention. Then, listening a second time, I think the phrase is closer to "patch of hot asphalt," but it still sounds a little risqué.

That made me think back to Homer Simpson's Mr. Plow days, when an old lady asked him if he would ever so kindly treat her driveway a bit more gently, as she was afraid he'd scratch the asphalt. He acknowledged her request, and then as he walked away he quietly muttered "Kiss my asphalt." Ha, asphalt!! Priceless…

I couldn't believe it when I saw a commercial for a new heartburn medication that acts as a "protein pump inhibitor." Ooh, cool, right out of Star Trek! Hey, wait, isn't that just antacid? I mean they said in the commercial that all it does is lower the acidity of your digestive fluids. Anyway, it has an interesting name. Aciphex. Pronounced "Ass Effects." And you need a prescription. "Doctor, will this affect my ass?" "No, your donkey should be just fine."

I thought that was interesting enough, and then I remembered a previously advertised product that subtly changed its slogan halfway through its ad campaign. Remember this old tune?: "You bet your sweet Aspercreme!" I guess too many 8-year-olds were going around repeating that to their teachers, and someone somewhere got wise to the situation. I believe the slogan ultimately changed to, "You bet if it's Aspercreme!" Subtle enough to make any confident TV viewer question his sanity. "Hey, didn't that used to be… I must be losing my mind!"

One final note… Asberger's! (Ass Burgers, For Donkeys)

When Fox (TV) Deviates From Their Schedule

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

I enjoy watching the Super Bowl. I like the commercials, the excitement, and I like seeing the final outcome of the football season. I don't usually watch many (or any) other football games besides that. From time to time, Fox airs football games. Fine. I enjoy some of the programming on Fox, especially if it's on Sunday from 8-10pm. I like seeing the newer "Simpsons," "Family Guy," "King of the Hill," and "American Dad" episodes. What I don't enjoy is when a game runs over the allotted time, and it and its after-game report spill over into the timeslot that was supposed to be occupied by other shows. This happened a few weeks ago.

Before the new season of "Simpsons" et al began, I faithfully anticipated some newer episodes (not brand new, but fairly recent) between 8 and 10 Sunday night. Two weeks in a row, I was disappointed to see that although the "Simpsons" block had been scheduled, what actually aired was sports-related. There was no mention of the fact that they were running over, obscuring what I really wanted to watch with programming I wasn't as interested in. The first week it happened, I kept turning the TV back on to check to see if the sports stuff was over. At that point, that was all I could do. I couldn't rely on the schedule, a TV Guide, or the internet. The true programming information could only be gleaned from the television itself, checking what was on and when, as Fox decided to make things up as they went along. Finally, there was a blurb at the bottom of the screen at 9:45 or so, saying "Fox News" would air immediately following the sports program. So they skipped the entire Sunday block. Next week, once I saw they were doing it again, I didn't bother to come back and check. I knew there was no hope.

Sure, TV isn't the end-all-be-all of the world. Sure, some missed programs aren't that big a deal. They weren't even new, right? So why do I care? Because Fox had told its viewers through the programming information that they would do one thing (broadcast the "Simpsons" block) and then did another (let the sports programming run over). This has happened before. And I will not accept that there's no solution. "But if the game runs long, what else can they do?" Move to a different channel.

Fox could have a backup channel for just such "emergencies." Either default to the backup whenever a program overlap occurs, or create a new Fox Sports channel that is explicitly for sporting events that tend to run long. Or broadcast the sporting events earlier, or later. That way, the sports viewers get to watch what they want, and whoever enjoys Fox's "regular" programming is also happy. There's always a solution to a problem. And the best first step toward such a solution is to visibly document in the programming area just how long a game "might" run. An up-front message about how "In the event of such and such, blah blah blah." At least then you'd know to expect such a scenario beforehand, and not end up blindsided with disappointment.

Bottom line: As a faithful consumer, I absolutely despise bait-and-switch.

If Walls Could Talk – In The Future, They Will

Saturday, October 20th, 2007

Today I had the idea that you could walk into a room and your friends, who were watching TV, were now on the other side of the screen. That would mean that the TV screen is really a portal to another location. Or, it could be a monitor with a feed from a camera somewhere.

It got me thinking: What if in the future, technology is so advanced that it allows us to get complacent, lazy even? Say you want to go see a friend. As it used to be, you'd give him a call. Before phones, you could write a letter or go in person. Now, we can instant message each other. In the future, what if we take things one step further?

Imagine a room in your house in which the walls act as both cameras and televisions. So you enter the room, and say, "Let me see Jenny." Your house calls her house, or apartment, or wherever she is. How does it know where to find her? Maybe she's got a chip in her head. Let's not worry about that. Ok, so the network finds her, and a CGI operator comes on the screen wherever she is, saying, "Your friend Jimmy would like to speak with you. Is that OK?" She says sure, and BAM — you're having a two-way visual meeting, live.

Sounds cool, right? You don't have to do anything when you're in that room except issue voice commands. Now here's where things get scary (unless the chip-in-the-head thing already got to you). Jenny's out and about, right? Maybe at an art museum? Now imagine she's at her house. You're at your house. Everybody is at their own home. Nobody goes anywhere, because they can all link up virtually.

But I don't think that will really happen. I'll bet the technology will reach and surpass that level, sure, but I think we'll have plenty of reasons to keep active.

We'll have to fight the robots!