You may be aware that I’m still not over my incredibly painful addiction to money. Good thing I don’t suffer from the similarly debilitating sports addiction. Although sometimes I just want to kick back and watch the game! With chips and dip of all varieties… And then if I don’t like what’s happening I’ll yell at the TV! And if I really don’t like what’s going on… Well let’s just say I lose more TVs that way.

I guess it would be really bad if I was a gambling junkie on top of everything, and needed to constantly update my baseball betting picks.

Thankfully, I’m a bigger fan of betting on…the DSRL!

During the past couple of weeks, I have encountered various Easter items that seem to want to be the Cadbury Creme Egg. Everybody wants to be like Mike.

A. Cadbury Carmel Egg — Totally different candy experience from the Creme Egg. The carmel inside is pure, no coloring or whatever to make it seem like a real egg filling. The carmel tastes almost smoky. I've definitely had better chocolate-covered carmels.

2. Snickers Creme Sports Eggs - Shaped like a Cadbury Egg, but sliced down the middle, producing one egg-shaped side and one flat side. Unwrap two, put them together, and you've got a whole egg. The outside is chocolate, the inside is pretty much snickers filling. Didn't taste anything like a Cadbury Egg, but it was still fantastic. Carmel, peanut-buttery flavor, and chocolate.

D. Hershey's Kisses Brand Milk Chocolates filled with Vanilla Creme - The inside reminds me of the Cadbury Creme Egg filling. It tastes a bit similar. Not quite the same, but could be a good alternative for when the store sells out of Cadbury. As an added bonus, you get a bunch of them in a single package. Once you open it, you can pop them in your mouth one after another. Since they're smaller than a typical Cadbury Egg, you might get more satisfaction by having 2 or 3.

I’ve heard about motivational speakers. They get up in front of an audience and inspire people to succeed. Then I saw on TV that there are people who do the same thing over the phone, 1 on 1. Now I’ve learned that there are coaches for business!

ActionCOACH is a company of people highly committed to what they do, very positive about doing it, and extremely successful. They continually do their best at being honest and balanced.

What is an ActionCOACH? A business coach. What is a business coach? Like a sports coach. When you’re an athlete, your coach says, “Gimme another lap.” You say, “I’m too tired.” Coach says, “Gimme another lap!” You run that extra lap. When the day of the race arrives, you’re better prepared because that coach continually pushed you, just like with that extra lap. A business coach will do the same.

But ActionCOACHes don’t just push you. They also listen, and give you their honest opinion. So unlike a “Yes Man,” an ActionCOACH won’t hesitate to tell you that your plan is flawed. It can be a timesaver (and a face saver) to learn of potential issues from a trusted source before you put your reputation on the line to back an untested idea. And that’s just one of the ways an ActionCOACH can help.

The ActionCOACH team has the goal of lifting up everyone they come into contact with in such a way that those people achieve the lives of their dreams.

This concept is incredible. Well, it strikes me as such. I mean, the whole idea of business coaches seems counter-intuitive at first. Aren’t business people motivated all by themselves? When you really think about it, though, everybody can find reasons to justify to themselves why they don’t need to go the extra mile. It gets so easy to rationalize little things here and there. Pretty soon we’re justifying a mediocre outcome. It seems to me that an ActionCOACH’s job is to continually give you that extra push in the right direction, down the path of doing more and producing better results. And if that winds up earning you a promotion and a raise that isn’t cancelled out by the next tax bracket, then wouldn’t having an ActionCOACH be worth it? I think so.

I was watching television, as I'm sometimes prone to do, and I encountered a Gatorade commercial saying, "Without sweat, [a sporting arena] is just [a meaningless location]." Like, without sweat, a baseball diamond is just an oddly designed lawn. I guess their argument makes a little sense, because most people sweat when playing sports, and if they're not sweating, they're probably not playing, which renders the sporting arena useless. But they threw in one phrase that stuck out for me… Without sweat, [something] is just a "patch of hot asphalt."

The first time I heard it, I thought, "Did they just say 'hot piece of asphalt?' Ha ha, clever… You brainwashers!" I figured they tossed in something that sounded sexual in order to grab a casual viewer's attention. Then, listening a second time, I think the phrase is closer to "patch of hot asphalt," but it still sounds a little risqué.

That made me think back to Homer Simpson's Mr. Plow days, when an old lady asked him if he would ever so kindly treat her driveway a bit more gently, as she was afraid he'd scratch the asphalt. He acknowledged her request, and then as he walked away he quietly muttered "Kiss my asphalt." Ha, asphalt!! Priceless…

I couldn't believe it when I saw a commercial for a new heartburn medication that acts as a "protein pump inhibitor." Ooh, cool, right out of Star Trek! Hey, wait, isn't that just antacid? I mean they said in the commercial that all it does is lower the acidity of your digestive fluids. Anyway, it has an interesting name. Aciphex. Pronounced "Ass Effects." And you need a prescription. "Doctor, will this affect my ass?" "No, your donkey should be just fine."

I thought that was interesting enough, and then I remembered a previously advertised product that subtly changed its slogan halfway through its ad campaign. Remember this old tune?: "You bet your sweet Aspercreme!" I guess too many 8-year-olds were going around repeating that to their teachers, and someone somewhere got wise to the situation. I believe the slogan ultimately changed to, "You bet if it's Aspercreme!" Subtle enough to make any confident TV viewer question his sanity. "Hey, didn't that used to be… I must be losing my mind!"

One final note… Asberger's! (Ass Burgers, For Donkeys)