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Posts Tagged ‘nigeria’

PAYMENT NOTIFICATION OF YOUR FUNDS (Email Spam)

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Nigeria yet again…


[Begin Email]

From: adamuisa@switched.com
Subject: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION OF YOUR FUNDS
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 2008 02:27:11 +0100

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR.
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
Tinubu square, Lagos- Nigeria.
Our ref: Cbn/Ohg/Oxd1/2008
Your ref: ………………………….
Telex: Cenbank.
Payment file: Cbn/Ben/08.

PAYMENT NOTIFICATION OF YOUR FUNDS.

Attn: Beneficiary,

Hello. We have decided to bring to your attention, the fact that we
have done everything necessary to make sure payments from the debt
remittance account are made to the Bonafide Beneficiaries. I am informing you
of an attempt by some men to collectyour payment on your behalf. I had
to ask them why they came to see me in person and they said that they
came to collect your inheritance/contract funds payment sum of $20M
which rightfully belongs to you as shown in your file with us, on your
behalf and by your authorization.

However, I am writing you this email to find out from you if you
actually sent them. Note that they actually tendered some vital documents
which proved that you actually sent them to collect these funds. Below is
the list of documents which they presented.

1) Letter of administration
2) Order to release
3) High court injunction

Due to the nature of my job, I cannot afford to make any mistake
inreleasing the funds to anyone except you who is the recognized and true
beneficiary to these funds.I want to hear from you before I order the
release of the funds to these men who claim to be your representatives
because they will be back to my office next week. I decided to carry out
this decision based on my work experience and this is a risk I cannot
take because I have not heard anything from you.

Kindly direct your response to the private email address of my
boss,Prof. Charles Soludo, the executive governor of the central bank of
Nigeria Cbn, below for quicker deliberation and response from him on the
release of your funds to you. Please remember to indicate your personal
phonenumber he can reach you on in your response.

Email: prof_c_charlessoludo@myway.com

Note that for security reasons you have been assigned a code/password
which is {TT7270CBN}, please note that this code is the reference number
for your transfer and it’s being disclosed to you alone, guard this
jealously and all your email response should carry this code as the
subject.

Yours faithfully,

Dr. Adamu Isa

Secretary.
To the Governor.
Central bank of Nigeria
Tinubu square, Lagos- Nigeria.

CC: SENATE COMMITTEE ON FINANCE

[End Email]


This message is a bit similar to ATM FROM CBN, and both invoke the name Soludo. That CBN one only offered $10 million, though. I guess they upped the ante to compensate for our Cadbury-killing weak dollar.

Can you imagine if any of these messages were real? If you suddenly became $10 or $20 million richer? You could kick back! A whole new set of shiny worries…

I'll bet that whoever falls for these scams does indeed imagine the possibilities. Too bad experiencing that pleasant dream is just another step in the scheme.

Dear Friend, Greetings! (Email Spam)

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Oh no! I missed the deadline! Mr. Encami's going to kill me…!


[Begin Email]

From: "Mr. James Encami" <info@winecampus.org>
Subject: Dear Friend, Greetings!
Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:09:39 -0800

Dear Friend, Greetings!

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your of
$1,200.000.00 United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since that time.

Then I went and deposited funds with a Security and Courier Company,
Lagos, Nigeria before I traveled out of the country for a 3 Months
Course and I will not come back till end of August. What you have to do
now is to contact the Security and Courier Company as soon as possible
to know when they will deliver your package to you. For your
information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium and
Clearance Certificate Fee. The only money you will send to the Courier &
Security Company to deliver your package direct to your postal Address in
your country is ($120.00 US) only being Security Keeping Fee of the
Courier Company so far.

Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except
$120.00 US Dollars. I would have paid that but they said no because they
don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. You have
to contact the Courier & Security Company now for the delivery of your
package with this information bellow;
Contact Person: Mr Tony Ije
Telephone:+234-805-653-5221
Email Address:tonyije01@yahoo.fr

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address and Direct
telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery
and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your
package over there and know when it will get to your address.

Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this
mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their
Security Keeping fee of $120.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.
Yours Faithfully,
Mr. James Encami

[End Email]


This reminds me of one I got before. The old, "All I need is a small fee and you're on your way to riches!" Hmm…

Check it out, mang: <info@winecampus.org>

Isn't every campus a wine campus? Well… maybe not AAU. "There are 12 steps to getting your degree. Step 1: Admit you are powerless…" I have no power! He-man: I haaavve THE POOWWWEEEERRRRRR!!!! "You just don't get it, do you?"

Back to the email: "I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your of $1,200.000.00…"

Let's just adjust that a little: I have been waiting for you to contact me for your [BLANK] of $1.2 million.

What is the BLANK? Is it a gift? Reward? Compensation for past efforts (but alas, no results)? Punishment?

"You were bad. As penance, we sentence you to life as a wealthy person. Have fun saying "No," to all the woodwork gremlins. Watch their faces afterwards. Sneer away, you little devils!"

"Oh, can I have $140,000 to buy a new car? Please? I'm a vet! I was in Vietnam!"

"You're only 19."

"Hey, I don't need to take this from some…civilian!!" Sneer, sneer, sneer…

Why, Encami, why?? How dare you curse me to a life of undeserved luxury! You'll rue the day…

CHIEF ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA (Email Spam)

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Yes! Mo' money mo' money mo' money! Boo-yah!!!!


[Begin Email]

From: "CHIEF ACCOUNTANT GENERAL."
Subject: YOUR COMPENSATION PAYMENT HAS BEEN APPROVED.
Date: Wed, 19 Mar 2008 10:01:33 -0700

CHIEF ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
FROM DR. JAMES OBI
Federal Secretariat Towers (5th & 10th floors)
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area, Garki,Abuja.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA COMPENSATION UNIT,IN AFFILIATION WITH THE
UNITED NATIONS.

Attn: Sir/Madam,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? You may
not understand why this mail came to you. I am Dr. James Obi, the Chief
Accountant General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Due to series of petition received from International Bodies on the way
fraudsters around the world especially Nigerians defrauded them, the
Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and my good self unbehalf of
the
Federal Government of Nigeria have been having a meeting with the
newly elected Secretary-General to the UNITED NATIONS,
Secretary-General
Ban Ki-moon for the past 10 days which ended 3 days ago.

Been the outcome of our meeting,we are sending this email to all the
people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED
NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$ 500, 000. 00
(Five
Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only). This includes every
foreign contractor that may have not received their contract sum and
people
that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses
that failed due to Government problems etc.

We found your name and email address on the List supplied to us by the
UNITED NATIONS and that is why we are contacting you.It has however
been agreed upon that you should be paid with immediate effect
following
the approval of your payment by the Central Bank of Nigeria in
aggreement with the UNITED NATION'S Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon.

You are advised to get back to us as soon as possible, to enable us
instruct the Central Bank of Nigeria which is the United Nation’s
Paying
Bank here in West Africa to pay you.

You may respond on the both email addresses given below:

accntantgen.j@gmail.com

accntantgen_j@mail.md

Congratulations!

Yours Faithfully

DR. JAMES OBI
Chief Accountant General (Federal Republic of Nigeria)
Central Area, Garki, Abuja.

[End Email]


Finally! Nigeria owns up to their problems and decides to provide a solution. I can't wait to spend my $500,000. I'll probably use it for my mortgage. But since the value of the dollar is going down, maybe I'll just buy a candy bar instead. Hmm… But then I won't have any money left!

"Due to series of petition received from International Bodies on the way fraudsters around the world especially Nigerians … to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US $500,000.00."

I wonder just how many people have been scammed by other emails, and are now getting this one and thinking, "Finally! Satisfaction!"

It's like a television show. And we've just now moved on to Part II, where some of the fraudsters admit to previous wrongdoing as a means to promote their current wrongdoings.

O brave new world that has such people in it!

ATM FROM CBN (Email Spam)

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

Man! I'm so rich, I know so many professional people, and I'm in such good standing with Nigeria these days! I can't wait to spend my millions of dollars…

[Begin Email]

From: "UNITED NATIONS"
Subject: ATM FROM CBN
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:36:15 -0800

From The Desk Of
Prof. Charles Soludo
Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
SUBJECT: Immediate Release of Your FUND Via ATM CARD

Attention: ATM Card Beneficiary,
I wish to use this medium to inform you that your CONTRACT/INHERITANCE
Payment of USD$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States Dollars) from
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA have been RELEASED and APPROVED for onward
transfer to you via an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw all the
USD$10,000,000.00 in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world,
but the maximum you can withdraw in a day is USD$10,000.00 Only
We have mandated CITI BANK IN NIGERIA to send you the ATM CARD and
PIN NUMBER which you will use to withdraw all your USD$10 Million
Dollars in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world, but the
maximum you can withdraw in a day is USD$10,000.00 Only.
You are therefore advice to contact the Head of ATM CARD Department of
CITIBANK NIGERIA
Contact Person: DR MICHEAL BROWN
TEL 234 80 22348461 OR 234 7027682725

Tell DR MICHEAL BROWN that you received a message from the CENTRAL
BANK OF NIGERIA. Instructing him to send you the ATM CARD and PIN
NUMBER which you will use to withdraw your USD$10 Million Dollars in
any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world, also send him your
direct phone number and contact address where you want him to send the
ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER to you As you will take care of the little
insurance and shipment fees
We are very sorry for the plight you have gone through in the past
years. Thanks for adhering to this instruction and once again accept
our congratulations.
Best Regards.
Mrs brown
for
Prof. Charles C. Soludo.
Executive Governor,
Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).

[End Email]

Sent from frnpresidency@gmail.com. Wow, a foreign Presidency? Wow, gMail?! I must really be making an impression.

Professor Soludo is so nice to acknowledge the "the plight [I] have gone through in the past years." How very kind. It has been tough. What with everything going on, and all. It will be nice to finally have access to an ATM card that can withdraw more than a couple hundred bucks at a time. $10,000, here I come! But I wonder if I can tweak things so that I can eliminate all those extra trips? It would be really great if I could just walk right up to the corner ATM, the one with the card-washing station, and withdraw the full Ten Million in one fell swoop. I think I'll give that a try tonight!

***Update: It didn't work.

Ha ha, fooled you! I didn't really try it. I just thought it was funny to picture someone going up to a random ATM and planning on taking out $10 million! That's crazy…

By the way, just in case you hadn't heard about this before, a card-washing station next to an ATM is usually a means for thieves to gain access to your card information and or funds. So don't wash your cards! Dirt is back in style.

From the desk of Mr. Kola Johnson (Email Spam)

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

Nigeria, why are you so weird all the time?


[Begin Email]

From: "Mr. Kola Johnson"
Subject: From the desk of Mr. Kola Johnson
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:54:48 -0700

Zenith Bank plc
From the desk of Mr. Kola Johnson
Director, International Remittance Dept.
Eagle Square, Abuja – Nigeria.

Attn: Sir,

Upon the heel of the International Community Protest to the
International Monetary Fund office IMF in respect of non payment of your over due
fund with the Federal Government of Nigeria.

We the zenith bank plc has been appointed by the President Federal
Republic of Nigeria, Alhaji Umaru Musa Yar'adua upon the directives of the
IMF to direct you on how to receive your fund with our bank.

However, be informed that your payment including the interest has been
deposited in an escrow account of the Federal Government, which will be
release to you through diplomatic cash delivery to your door-step, As
soon as we receive your reply, Zenith bank will process your payment
through diplomatic cash delivery and send to your address.

Meanwhile, you are advise to forward to us the below information if
this option is acceptable by you.

(1) Your full Name: ………………..
(2) Your direct telephone numbers for easy contact…
(3) your international passport or any valid ID: ……………
(4) Your home address or your company address where you want the fund
to be delivered to you, that is all.

As soon as we receive an email from you with the above requirements, we
shall not hesitate to proceed on the release of your funds by this
bank.

I therefore, implore you to expedite action in your respond today.

Yours Truly,

MR. Kola Johnson
Director, International Remittance Dept.

[End Email]


Hey, they mentioned …the IMF!! The Impossible Mission Force! I once found a coin that had an IMF insignia. Must have been a toy or kids' thing. Or maybe the IMF is hunting me down…

Well, I better get around to honoring their request, and "expedite action in [my] respond." After all, sending a late "respond" is never good!

Let's see…

(1) Your full Name: Stratovarius Megatrend
(2) Your direct telephone numbers for easy contact… My numbers? 8, 5, and… 0
(3) your international passport or any valid ID: …………… Death Certificate
(4) Your home address or your company address where you want the fund
to be delivered to you, that is all. 123 Fake Street, Springfield, USA

That last one sounded like someone talking to themselves, imagining a negative response, and then justifying what they originally said. "Your home address or your company address." "What???" "Where you want the fund to be delivered to you, that's all!!"

Oh, ok. Why didn't you say so in the first place?

RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT (Email Spam)

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Nigeria, how could you? You are doing yourself a disservice by sending these messages…

[Begin Email]

Date: 27 Feb 2008 08:51:16 -0500
Subject: RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT
From: "MR.ROGER BERNALDEZ."

OFFICE OF THE SENATE HOUSE

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT

(RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT)

IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA

Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB.

Your Ref.

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR INHERITANCE

FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS

BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT
OF

YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE
NONE>

OFFICIALS IN THE BANK YOUR ENTIRE ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE

FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THESE

HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED

TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR

PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC THAT IS THE

LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR. PRESIDENT, UMARU YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL

REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FBI.

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO

WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT
THE

MAXIMUM IS TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE
YOU

FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE INTERNATIONAL

MONETARY FUNDS DEPARTMENT CARD PAYMENT CENTER MR. CHARLES BROWN ON HIS

EMAIL charlybrow12345@yahoo.it

ADDRESS: AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING

INFORMATION:

1. YOUR FULL NAME:

2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:

3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD:

4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION:

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT

USD6.3MILLION AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007. ALSO FOR YOUR
INFORMATION,

YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S)

OR OFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT. FOR ORAL

DISCUSSION, EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE

FOR FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE

ABOVE-MENTIONED OFFICE. NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY

ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-822) SO YOU HAVE TO
INDICATE

THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

KINDEST REGARDS,

MR. ROGER BERNALDEZ.

SENATE PRESIDENT

[End Email]

Charlie Brown! What a ridiculous email: charlybrow12345@yahoo.it It's like a child chose it. And it's supposed to belong to the international monetary funds department card payment center representative… Yeah right!

This is one of the very few times when a piece of spam has warned me that not cooperating is illegal. "WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THESE HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT…" Some of this stuff just makes me feel sick. Sick for the people who come up with this stuff. Sick for the people who play along, hoping to get rich somehow. Sick for all the dishonesty involved, and for the destructive nature of this venture. All these efforts could be turned toward more constructive pursuits, but no… Let's tear down society for a few quick bucks, one ignorant person at a time.

COMPENSATION & THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT EFFORTS. (Email Spam)

Monday, February 25th, 2008

I rule so much. Why doesn't anybody recognize how much I rule? At least Morrison Esq. is aware of all my great efforts. (Singing:) I can't wait for payday…

[Begin Email]

Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2008 22:30:47 -0500
From: "Morrison Esq."
Subject: COMPENSATION & THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT EFFORTS.

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds
transferred under the co-operation of a new partner from Paraguay.
Presently I'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share
of the total sum.

It may interest you to note that I didn't forget your past efforts
and attempts to assist me in transferring the funds though you were
not able to see it through for whatever reasons. After due
consideration, I have decided to compensate you for your efforts.

I have issued a check of $800,000 for you and had to drop it with
Karolla Express Courier Service in Nigeria and you are to contact them
with the following information as stated below for re-affirmation and
to ensure a safe delivery.

Full Name: ………………………
Address: ………………………..
Phone Number: ……………………

Note that the shipment fee and the insurance of the check has been
paid by me and the only fee you will be required to pay is $220
being the security charges for duration the check has been in their
possession. I would have made the payment but I do not know when
you will get in touch with them as the charges increases with the
amount of days they secure it. Endeavour you contact them immediately
before the security charge increases with days.

You are to contact them through the information as stated below
and note that the only fee you are to pay is the Security Charges
as every other stable fees has been paid.

Karolla Express Service Nigeria
EMAIL: karollacourierservices@strompost.com
Tel: +(234)-807-782-2142

I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which I
and my partner are involved in. Note that I have instructed
Karolla Express on your behalf to this effect. Get in touch with them
and they will ensure you get the check.

Thanks once again for all you effort during the course of the
transfer.

[End Email]

They sure don't want that much personal information. Heck, all they'd need is a phone book to get some random person's name, address, and phone number. Oh, I see, they want the $220 "security charge," which will likely be higher by the time I contact them (as if!). I wonder what kind of investment project Morrison and his partner are involved in to keep them so busy? Maybe some sort of security charge hustle?

In the real world, large sums of money rarely get transferred around as rewards for "efforts." The cash only changes hands in the event of solid results. So that's dumb. But some people are desperate, and deeply want to believe in the power of human kindness — and free money.

Lately I've developed a theory that some of these spammer-scammers have created their own moral judgement system for who is a worthy con. They craft an email in such a way that anyone they hook must be dishonest. Like, "I forgot the name of the person I'm going to pay half a million bucks to. Is it you?" That way, anybody who answers will be lying, and therefore "deserve" to be conned out of their hard-earned cash.