Last post I mentioned somehow getting rich, becoming a millionaire overnight. I once saw a special on lottery winners. Actually, I've probably seen 2 or 3. But one lingers in recent memory because the purchases the guy made just seemed ludicrous.

I can definitely understand the logic. "I have this money now, and I want that thing, so I'm going to get it." But some of his newfound assets didn't seem to serve any greater functional purpose than a far more inexpensive alternative. Like, he got a car and it had some special wood engravings and it was rare, vintage or whatever. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, it cost. What's the point?

One thing I almost understood was his home theater system. Almost. I mean, I love movies. But you don't need an electric curtain in front of a viewing screen in order to enjoy them! He did have some pretty ample seating in that room. I was like mega-sized armchairs. Awesome.

Recently I visited BostonTables.com, and my mouth dropped because on the home page they have some huge Home Theater Seating products that reminded me of the lottery guy. It looks like if you have tastes similar to his, but a budget a bit more regular, then BostonTables.com might have what you're looking for.

I missed it! I missed the deadline… missed it… missed it bad… just 48 hours… so close yet so far! Darn it all to Heck!

From: "Bonanza Lottery International" <prize@bonanzalotteryinternational.com>
Subject: RE: FINAL AWARD NOTIFICATION.
Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:11:46 +0100

FROM: THE DESK OF THE MANAGER,
BONANAZA LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT.
REF NO: 15/0018/IPD
BATCH NO: EGS/ 22504002/06.

ATTN: WINNER,

RE: FINAL AWARD NOTIFICATION.

We are pleased to inform you, that as a result of our RECENT LOTTERY
DRAWS HELD on the 9th of February 2008.Your e-mail address attached to
ticket number:085-12876077-09 with serial number:51390-0 drew lucky
numbers:03-05-12-14-38 which consequently won in the 5th category you have
therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of (ONE MILLION U.S DOLLARS)
in cash credited to file with. REF: s.EGS/3662367114/13.Note that all
participants in this lottery program have been selected randomly through
a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 Officials and
30,000,000 individual email addresses from all search engines and web
sites,from Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, North and South America, Middle
East and Africa, as part of our International Promotions Program. This
promotional program takes place every year,and is promoted and
sponsored by eminent personalities like the Sultan of Brunei,Bill Gates of
microsoft inc and other corporate organizations.This is to encourage !
the use of the internet and comput

Your fund is now deposited with BANK and insured For security purpose
and clarity,we advise that you keep your winning information
confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to your
account.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claims
and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

We look forward to your active participation in our next 4 million
dollars slot. To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact your
claims processing officer through via e-mail as stated below:

NAME:MR.CHARLES LLOYD
Tel: 44(0)7024013010
Email: admin@bonanzalotteryinternational.com

When you contact him, please provide him with your secret BATCH
NO,SERIAL NO.
You are also advised to provide him with the under listed information
as soon as possible:
1. Names in full
2. Address
3. Nationality
4. Age
5. Occupation
6. Phone/Fax

All winnings must be claimed not later than one month After the date of
this notice.Please note, in order to avoid unnecessary delays and
complications,remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in
all correspondence. Furthermore,should there be any change of address
do inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations!!! once more
and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Sincerely,

Ashley Cole
Manager, lotto draw team
Bonanza International lottery.

[End Email]

Hilarious:

"This
promotional program takes place every year,and is promoted and
sponsored by eminent personalities like the Sultan of Brunei,Bill Gates of
microsoft inc and other corporate organizations.This is to encourage !
the use of the internet and comput"

It just cuts off. It reminds me of that clip where Bill Gates is on stage with a product developer and the guy's showing the latest computer and operating system to Bill and everyone. Then the Blue Screen of Death pops up and the guy quickly closes the laptop. All Bill can do is smile…

"For security purpose
and clarity,we advise that you keep your winning information
confidential until…"

Sure, sure. Tell no one. "You got that, punk?! You tell someone about this email message and so help me, I'll rip your– winning lottery ticket up… And you won't…get… the money. Ok?"

No! Tell the authorities! Run home! Run as fast as you can!!

{Six Million Dollar Man Sound Effects}

I am amassing quite a fortune. I should really think about looking into Swedish banking!

[Begin Email]

Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2008 06:20:28 -0600 (CST)
Subject: Hello!
From: "Multi-State Lottery Association"

Draw Details:
Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414
Batch Number: 573881545-NL/2006
Ticket draw Number: 2, 19, 22, 26, 32,
"Hot Ball: 16" WINNER ONLY

You have won one of our Jackpot prizes. You have won yourself a cash
prize
of $2.490 Million USD (Two million Four Hundred And Ninety Thousand
United States Dollars)

An e-mail address attached to Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414
Batch Number:573881545-NL/2006
Ticket draw Number: 2, 19, 22, 26, 32,

Contact our claims officer:
Mr.Roland White Email: vwd033@strompost.net
_________________________________________
Send your information for immediate payment: Name In Full,Address In
Full,Telephone/Fax number In Full,Nationality, Age,Country,Occupation

Yours faithfully,
Online co-ordinator
Donald Baldwin.

[End Email]

What a weird name for a claims officer: Mr. Roland White Email. Who names their kid Email? Anyway, I'm glad I won the full $2.490 Million. That's 2 million, plus 400 thousand, plus ninety thousand, plus zero thousand. It's a good thing they kept that zero on there, otherwise I might have missed out on all that "extra" cash! In order to contact them, I plan (no, not really) on sending them my Name In Full, my Address In Full, my Telephone/Fax number In Full, but then only part of my Nationality, the "tens" digit of my Age, the first three letters of my Country, and an abbreviation of my Occupation!

Hey wait, did this come from a Baldwin Brother?

A little while back I got notice that I've done it again — I've struck it rich through sheer will power!

[Begin Email]

Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 19:45:55 -0500
From: "IRISH NATIONAL LOTTERY"
Subject: Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05

The Irish Lottery
47 Meadow Vale, Sligo, Ireland.
Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05
Batch: R3/A312-59

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
We are pleased to announce to you the draw of the IRISH LOTTERY
PROGRAMME online Sweepstakes International Programme held on the 3rd
Feburary 2008

Your e-mail address attached to the winning ticket number: 56475600545
188 with Serial number 5368/05 drew the lucky numbers:
10,13,24,24,25,36,41,08 which subsequently won the JACKPOT. You have
therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 1,967,932GBP in cash
credited
to file KTU/9023118308/05 of Irish Lottery.

All participants for the online version were selected randomly from the
World Wide Web through a computer draw system and extracted from over
100,000 unions, associations, and corporate bodies that are listed
online. This promotion takes place weekly.
Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European
booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play
coupon.

In view of this, your 1,967,932GBP would be released to you by any of
our payment offices in Europe(UK).
To file for your claim, you are to fill the form and contact our
authorized claim agent in the UK(Europe) on the details below:

Mr,Agent Ken Collins
Email:ken_collins011@hotmail.com
1. Ticket number:….
2. Batch number:….
3. Serial number:….
4. Amount won:…..
5. FULL NAMES:….
6. DATE OF BIRTH:…
7. SEX:…
8. MARITAL STATUS:….
9. CONTACT ADDRESS:…
10.TELEPHONE NUMBER:….
11.OCCUPATION:….
12.ANNUAL INCOME;…

Good luck from me and members of staff of the Irish Lottery.
Sincerely
Rev.Garry Philips
Online Co-coordinator for IRISH LOTTERY SWEEPSTAKE PROGRAMME 2008.

[End Email]

It's interesting reading this thing. "Your e-mail address … won the JACKPOT … a total sum of 1,967,932GBP in cash…. All participants for the online version were selected randomly from the World Wide Web…. This promotion takes place weekly." Wow, what an interesting economic tactic, to just give away gobs of money every week to people in other countries. And they don't even charge for tickets! Where does all that money come from?

…The Devil!

A little while ago I posted an email I got (spam) called BMW UK LOTTERY Esteemed Winner!!. Usually, I expect to receive such notices solely by email. But then I found a new "comment" here at Misinterpreted.org that wasn't filtered as spam. Wouldn't you know it, the subject was regarding a win in the BMW Lottery! But the weird part? It wasn't posted as a comment to my BMW Lottery post. It was a comment on a completely different post, Speedlinking - December 20, 2007!

Here's the full text:

[Begin Comment]

THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY, UK
2007 INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION,
CLAIMS DEPARTMENT.
22 Garden Close, Stamford,
Lincs, PE9 2YP, London
United Kingdom. Jenuary,2008.
REF NO:BMW:2551256003/23

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of ã500,000.00 (Five hundred Thousand Great British pounds) and brand new BMW 3 Series Car in this year BMW LOTTERY PROGRAMME.
To claim your prize Contact the claim office with the under listed informations as soon as possible:
Name :
Address :
Country :
Age :
Sex :
Occupation :
Phone :
Fax :
==========================================
Fiduciary Claims Department (FCD),
Fred Verra
Email:bmwlottery88@yahoo.co.uk
=======================================
Please you are to provide him with the above listed details as soon as possible so he can begin with the processing of your prize winnings.

Regards,

Engr. Holland Burridge
Online Co-ordinator.

[End Comment]

It doesn't make any sense, does it? I mean, apart from happening in Jenuary! But seriously, why would the Online Co-ordinator inform the winner of a lottery in plain view of the public? "Everybody wins!" Maybe Engr. Holland Burridge figured I wouldn't approve the comment, and instead keep it to myself. If that were the case, Burridge would probably have been hoping that I took the message seriously, and that I would promptly provide my personal profile. Poor perfomance, Burridge!

Got this one yesterday:

[EMAIL START]

Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2008 17:11:32 -0600
From: "BMW UK LOTTERY"
Subject: Esteemed Winner!!

Esteemed Winner!!

This is to notify you that your email address has won the 2008 BMW
Sponsored
National Uk Lottery.
By this You have won the total cash prize of two million British Pounds
(2,000,000.00 GBP).

YOUR WINNING DETAILS
Ref No: CHN/2551256007/11
Batch No: 14/0017/IPD
serial No: GMLA2-003
Ticket No: 12033
Lucky No: 425448/7785

To file for claim please fill and return the form below stating your
aforementioned references.
1.Name:
2.Address:
3.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Telephone Number:
10.Fax Number:

To begin your claim, do file for the release of your winning by
contacting our
accredited agent:
NAME:David Cole
Email:bmwlottery@bmwlottery.net-info.org.uk
TELL:+44 704 570 8366
Fax:+448704711080.

Congratulations once more and thank you for being part of our
promotional
program.Note:
Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

Yours Faithfully
Mrs.Thessy Van Vart
Online Co-Ordinator

[EMAIL END]

I'm so lucky…

Let's see, as Gisele Bündchen, "the world's richest model" once asked, "Can I get that in euros?"

Last time I looked, one euro is worth $1.40 U.S. So, 2,490,000 euros = $3,486,000! Whoo!! Let's hope they honor my request.

The best part? I never even signed up! Just today I received word from Harvard, in the form of an email. Here it is:

From: "Donald Baldwin" <Hotlotto@camail.harvard.edu>
Subject: Hello!
To: [Blank]

Dear Winner,

Multi-State Lottery Association (MUSL) New Year Promo

This is a Re-Notification of your unclaimed winning which we ran on our automated computer ballot of most of our unclaimed winnings.Your e-mail address emerged as a winner in the unclaimed winnings category "Hot Ball: 16" with the following numbers attached Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414, Batch Number: 573881545-NL/2006 and Ticket draw Number: 2, 19, 22, 26, 32, You are therefore to receive a cash prize of $2.49 Million Million (TWO MILLION Four Hundred And NINETYThousand United States Dollars) from the total payout.

Your prize award has been insured with your e-mail address and will be transferred to you upon meeting our requirements,statutory obligations, verifications, validations and satisfactory report.

Draw Details:
Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414
Batch Number: 573881545-NL/2006
Ticket draw Number: 2, 19, 22, 26, 32,
"Hot Ball: 16" WINNER ONLY
Draw Date: Wed Jan 2 '08

To file in for the processing of your prize winnings, you are advised to contact our accredited claims agent above for immediate processing of your winning with the information below:

Claims Agent:-
Robert Smith
Email: musl0093@gmail.com

Name In Full,
Address In Full,
Telephone/Fax number In Full,
Nationality,
Age,
Country,
Occupation

Yours Faithfully,
Donald Baldwin
Lottery Coordinator.
HOT LOTTO

This advice complies with the Anti-Fraud section 2,sub section (iv) of the procedural manual of the funds disbursementagreement existing between the e-Lottery syndicates, UK Govt. and the EU Gaming Commission.

Congratulations from all members and staffs of this program.
Multi-State Lottery Association (MUSL) New Year Promo
http://www.lotteryusa.com/lottery/HL/HL_fcur.htmlulations

You'd think Harvard would know better than to send out an email where the words run together at parts, and the only link doesn't even work. If you visit that site, it says, "LotteryUSA page lotteryHLHL_fcur.htmlulations not found." It seems the "ulations" part after the ".html" was likely a portion of a previously typed (or generated) "congratulations."

But I'm rich!

Note for those who don't get the gag: This was a spam email sent in an effort to get my personal information. The "legitimate" Harvard sender tells me to forward all my personal info to some random guy "named" Robert Smith, reachable at a disposable email address (musl0093@gmail.com). It didn't mention me by name or email address so that the same message, word for word, could be sent out to many, many others, soliciting their personal information as well. If you get a similar message, or one that sounds too good to be true, always keep in mind the possibility that it is fraud.