Oh no! I missed the deadline! Mr. Encami's going to kill me…!

From: "Mr. James Encami" <info@winecampus.org>
Subject: Dear Friend, Greetings!
Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:09:39 -0800

Dear Friend, Greetings!

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your of
$1,200.000.00 United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since that time.

Then I went and deposited funds with a Security and Courier Company,
Lagos, Nigeria before I traveled out of the country for a 3 Months
Course and I will not come back till end of August. What you have to do
now is to contact the Security and Courier Company as soon as possible
to know when they will deliver your package to you. For your
information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium and
Clearance Certificate Fee. The only money you will send to the Courier &
Security Company to deliver your package direct to your postal Address in
your country is ($120.00 US) only being Security Keeping Fee of the
Courier Company so far.

Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except
$120.00 US Dollars. I would have paid that but they said no because they
don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. You have
to contact the Courier & Security Company now for the delivery of your
package with this information bellow;
Contact Person: Mr Tony Ije
Telephone:+234-805-653-5221
Email Address:tonyije01@yahoo.fr

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address and Direct
telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery
and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your
package over there and know when it will get to your address.

Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this
mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their
Security Keeping fee of $120.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.
Yours Faithfully,
Mr. James Encami

[End Email]

This reminds me of one I got before. The old, "All I need is a small fee and you're on your way to riches!" Hmm…

Check it out, mang: <info@winecampus.org>

Isn't every campus a wine campus? Well… maybe not AAU. "There are 12 steps to getting your degree. Step 1: Admit you are powerless…" I have no power! He-man: I haaavve THE POOWWWEEEERRRRRR!!!! "You just don't get it, do you?"

Back to the email: "I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your of $1,200.000.00…"

Let's just adjust that a little: I have been waiting for you to contact me for your [BLANK] of $1.2 million.

What is the BLANK? Is it a gift? Reward? Compensation for past efforts (but alas, no results)? Punishment?

"You were bad. As penance, we sentence you to life as a wealthy person. Have fun saying "No," to all the woodwork gremlins. Watch their faces afterwards. Sneer away, you little devils!"

"Oh, can I have $140,000 to buy a new car? Please? I'm a vet! I was in Vietnam!"

"You're only 19."

"Hey, I don't need to take this from some…civilian!!" Sneer, sneer, sneer…

Why, Encami, why?? How dare you curse me to a life of undeserved luxury! You'll rue the day…

(This Summer, hit band "Facebook Is Not Secure" to release its newest album, "We Are Not Secure")

I just read on Yahoo that Facebook's recent security upgrades still don't prevent evil strangers from looking up all your private stuff.

Bottom line, don't post it.

There was a link (on Yahoo) to another article or video. The text was, "Military warns soldiers not to post info on Facebook."

It all makes so much sense! But some people conclude that the pros outweigh the cons. It's weird. Of course Facebook is making gobs of money by facilitating this sharing. But any site can be hacked. I assume that since Facebook isn't a bank, it is not as secure as PayPal. Maybe it should be.

I got another verification email today. Too bad I don't bank with Wells Fargo! Ha ha!

From: "Wells Fargo Online" <online@online.com>
Subject: Your Account Suspension Notice…
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:03:48 -0800

Wells Fargo Online Banking Information verification

Dear Valued customer,

At Wells Fargo, our utmost concern is the security of our online banking users. In this effect,
we do proper verification on all transactions done on our secured online banking servers.

Several attempts to log on to your account were detected this morning and as a matter of our improved online banking
security measures, We have decided to temporarily suspend your online banking access.

You will not be able to access your online account unless you re-activate your online access but in order to do so,
you will have to confirm your details by Logging on to your account to complete the
verification process set out for you before we can retrieve your online access.

Please, Log on through our secure link below;

MailScanner has detected a possible fraud attempt from "www.dialogue-initiative.com" claiming to be https://online.wellsfargo.com/login?=ZXJyb3IudXNlcm5hbWVJbnZhbGlkRm9ybWF0 ….

We are indeed sorry for the inconveniencies we have caused you, but also remember that as a
Wells Fargo customer, your security remains our greatest priority.

Sincerely,

Account Security Dept.
Wells Fargo

Privacy & Security | Help
Secure Area
©2000 - 2007 Wells Fargo, Inc. All rights reserved.

[End Email]

From: "Wells Fargo Online" <online@online.com> Ooh, neat email…

"Several attempts to log on to your account were detected this morning"

Oh crap! That was me! And now they've shut my account down, all because I tried to use it within the scope of reason. Darn my intolerable expectation of normalcy! (I didn't really try to log on…I don't even have an account. I just wanted to make something clear. They didn't say several fraudulent attempts or several suspicious attempts or even several failed attempts. For all we know, those attempts were successful, and done by the account holder.)

How's this for a run-on sentence?:

"You will not be able to access your online account
unless you re-activate your online access
but in order to do so, you will have to confirm your details
by Logging on to your account
to complete the verification process set out for you
before we can retrieve your online access."

Sick!

"You will not be able to access your online account unless you re-activate your online access"

"If you do not learn to master your rage, your rage will become your master."

I once heard that there’s a credit card company that operates a little differently than one might expect. Under normal circumstances, you get a credit card, go out, buy a $100 pack of Cadbury Eggs, and charge it to your credit card. Then later, the bill comes. You pay the $100, and you’re set. Mission Accomplished!

But this other company is different. You buy the $100 pack. Wait around. The bill comes. Says $100. You pay $100. And they charge you interest. They say you didn’t pay enough. They say, “You need to pay enough to cover any possible interest. We’ll credit your account with anything leftover.” So what you should have done was pay $110, and get $10 back later. Instead you got charged interest …on what? On nothing!

Now, I’m not really sure if that’s what happened. I only heard this story once, and it hasn’t happened to me personally. But I think it’s pretty lame. It’s the kind of thing you have a problem wrapping your head around, and yet some company has that rule for some reason. I’ll bet there are a lot of similarly messed up rules, and that’s why so many people are having debt problems. At least there are plenty of debt consolidation articles to read.

Yes! Mo' money mo' money mo' money! Boo-yah!!!!

From: "CHIEF ACCOUNTANT GENERAL."
Subject: YOUR COMPENSATION PAYMENT HAS BEEN APPROVED.
Date: Wed, 19 Mar 2008 10:01:33 -0700

CHIEF ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
FROM DR. JAMES OBI
Federal Secretariat Towers (5th & 10th floors)
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area, Garki,Abuja.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA COMPENSATION UNIT,IN AFFILIATION WITH THE
UNITED NATIONS.

Attn: Sir/Madam,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? You may
not understand why this mail came to you. I am Dr. James Obi, the Chief
Accountant General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Due to series of petition received from International Bodies on the way
fraudsters around the world especially Nigerians defrauded them, the
Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and my good self unbehalf of
the
Federal Government of Nigeria have been having a meeting with the
newly elected Secretary-General to the UNITED NATIONS,
Secretary-General
Ban Ki-moon for the past 10 days which ended 3 days ago.

Been the outcome of our meeting,we are sending this email to all the
people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED
NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$ 500, 000. 00
(Five
Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only). This includes every
foreign contractor that may have not received their contract sum and
people
that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses
that failed due to Government problems etc.

We found your name and email address on the List supplied to us by the
UNITED NATIONS and that is why we are contacting you.It has however
been agreed upon that you should be paid with immediate effect
following
the approval of your payment by the Central Bank of Nigeria in
aggreement with the UNITED NATION'S Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon.

You are advised to get back to us as soon as possible, to enable us
instruct the Central Bank of Nigeria which is the United Nation’s
Paying
Bank here in West Africa to pay you.

You may respond on the both email addresses given below:

accntantgen.j@gmail.com

accntantgen_j@mail.md

Congratulations!

Yours Faithfully

DR. JAMES OBI
Chief Accountant General (Federal Republic of Nigeria)
Central Area, Garki, Abuja.

[End Email]

Finally! Nigeria owns up to their problems and decides to provide a solution. I can't wait to spend my $500,000. I'll probably use it for my mortgage. But since the value of the dollar is going down, maybe I'll just buy a candy bar instead. Hmm… But then I won't have any money left!

"Due to series of petition received from International Bodies on the way fraudsters around the world especially Nigerians … to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US $500,000.00."

I wonder just how many people have been scammed by other emails, and are now getting this one and thinking, "Finally! Satisfaction!"

It's like a television show. And we've just now moved on to Part II, where some of the fraudsters admit to previous wrongdoing as a means to promote their current wrongdoings.

O brave new world that has such people in it!

I can't believe this. I read an article written by some Yahoo that popcorn contains an ingredient that can be extremely harmful when present in a large enough quantity.

"Diacetyl, a component of artificial butter flavoring, can cause a condition known as lymphocytic bronchiolitis," which can become life-threatening.

The FDA started an investigation last September because some dude out there in the "real" world was eating multiple bags of popcorn per day, and he unknowingly stumbled right into the trap.

The trap being that if you eat enough popcorn, you will get diacetyl disease.

Usually that condition is limited to popcorn package plant workers and lab rats. But some consumers (subconsciously) want in on the action too, and take it upon themselves to push the limits of physical and psychological endurance. "Let's see how many artificially-buttered, chemically-infused popcorn kernels I can ingest today. One… two… … two-hundred ninety eight… 299 ……… 6,473……*cough*cough*"

Sure, everything in moderation. And sure, who eats three bags of popcorn in a 24-hour period? (movie critics)

But seriously. Any kind of chemical that can be lethal or disease-causing in high doses should be eliminated from prepackaged food. Shouldn't it?

I got this a while ago. It had the Bank of America logo on it, too. It's funny when spammers send you messages from banks that you don't do business with. But like I wrote before, PayPal scams probably snare a lot more people than ones for older, physical banking institutions.

Just as a side note, I can't believe how close we are to doing all our business electronically. (Robot Voice:) "1500 credits have been automatically deducted from your account for the toll on this newly privatized road. Have - a - nice - day."

From: bankofamerica@security.com
Subject: Security Alert - Upgrade Your Personal Account Information .
Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2008 03:23:22 +0100

WARNING !!
You must update
Your Account Immediately
Please Click Here

*Important*
Please update your records on or before 48 hours, a failure to update your records will result in a temporal hold on your funds.

Security Update Alert

Your primary Information for Bank of America Online Banking Need To Update.

var LetterVals = { UIStrings : { __last : 'not used' }, StateDynamic : true, yplus_browser : false, premium_user : false, smsintl : "", SidebarSyncActionType : "read", SidebarSyncAuxActionType : "", SidebarSyncUID : "4204", SidebarSyncAuxUID : "", getString : function(id) { var result = this.UIStrings[id]; if ( result == null ) { return "Not translated: '" + id + "'"; } return result; } } Bank Of America is constantly working to increase security for all Online Banking Customers . To ensure the integrity of our online payment system, we periodically review accounts.

Your account might be place on restricted status. Restricted accounts continue to receive payments, but they are limited in their ability to send or withdraw funds.

To lift up this restriction, you have to complete our verification process. You must confirm your credit card details and your billing information as well. All restricted accounts have their billing information unconfirmed, meaning that you may no longer send money from your account until you have updated your billing information on records. To initiate the update confirmation process

Please follow the link below and fill in the necessary requirements :

MailScanner has detected a possible fraud attempt from "www.museonoelkempff.org" claiming to be https://sitekey.bankofamerica.com/sas/signon.do

Thank you for your patience as we work together to protect your account.

——————————————————————————–

Because E-Mail Is Not A Secure Form Of Communication, This E-Mail Box Is Not Equipped To Handle Replies.
If you have any questions about your account or need assistance, please call the phone number on your statement or go to Contact Us.

——————————————————————————–

Bank of America , N.A. Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender
2007 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved

[End Email]

I enjoy being alerted to deceptive links by MailScanner. But I don't think the Scanner was the reason for all that code near the top. I assume the scammer had a glitch in his system.

Or might it have been her system? I think the stereotypical computer user would be male, and the stereotypical criminal would be male. Therefore, the stereotypical computer criminal would be double-male? Making him female. No! Wait…

I can't believe it. I just wrote about the PayPal phishing spam I got from paypal@securesuite.net. I guess since I didn't respond, the sender figures I must be French.

From: " Orange Votre Service Clients Internet " <paypal@securesuite.net>
Subject: noreply.internet@orange-ftgroup.com
Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:25:47 +0100

Cher client Orange Internet,

Orange est déterminé à maintenir un environnement sain pour notre communauté de clients. Pour protéger la sécurité de votre compte, Orange emploie certains des systèmes de sécurité les plus avancés au monde et notre équipe anti- fraude écran régulièrement le système Orange pour toute activité inhabituelle.

Nous sommes avec vous pour rappeler que le 24 mars 2008 de notre équipe chargée de l'examen du compte identifié certains activité inhabituelle sur votre compte. Conformément à l'Accord d'utilisation de Orange et d'assurer que votre compte n'a pas été compromis, l'accès à votre compte a été limité. Votre compte d'accès restera limité jusqu'à ce que ce problème a été résolu.

Pour sécuriser votre compte et de rétablir rapidement un accès complet, nous pouvons exiger des informations supplémentaires de votre part pour la raison suivante:

Nous avons été informés que d'une Orange associée à votre compte a été signalé comme perdu ou volé, ou qu'il ya eu d'autres problèmes avec votre compte.

Ce processus est notre obligatoire, et si cela n'est pas accompli dans le temps le plus proche de votre compte ou de carte de crédit peuvent faire l'objet d'une suspension temporaire.

Pour sécuriser votre compte et de rétablir rapidement un accès complet, nous pouvons exiger des informations supplémentaires de votre part pour la raison suivante:

MailScanner has detected a possible fraud attempt from "jacquemard.biz" claiming to be ht tp://id.orange.fr/auth_user/bin/auth_user.cgi?origine=wg

S’il vous plaît à noter répondre à ce message.

Cette boîte aux lettres n'est pas suivi et que vous ne recevrez pas de réponse.

Merci pour l'aide de Orange

[End Email]

Ay dios mio! Let's just see what the old Alta Vista has to say about this…

Here's the Babel Fish Translation of the email message from French to English:

Dear customer Orange Internet,

Orange is given to maintain an environment healthy for our community of customers.

To protect safety from your account, Orange employs some of the most advanced systems of safety in the world and our anti team defrauds screen regularly the Orange system for any unusual activity.

We are with you to recall that on 24 unquestionable March 2008 of our team in charge of the examination of the account identified unusual activity on your account.

In accordance with the Agreement of use of Orange and to ensure that your account was not compromised, the access on your account was limited.

Your account of access will remain limited until this problem was solved.

To make safe your account and to restore a complete access quickly, we can require additional information of your share for the following reason: We were informed that of an Orange associated on your account was announced as lost or stolen, or that it ya have other problems with your account.

This process is our obligatory, and if that is not accomplished in time nearest to your account or credit card can be the subject of a deferment.

To make safe your account and to restore a complete access quickly, we can require additional information of your share for the following reason: [Fraudulent Link]

Please to note to answer this message. This letter-box is not followed and that you will not receive an answer.

Thank you for the assistance for Orange

[End Translation]

Ok, so it seems that they want the same info as they did before, and for the same reason. "Somebody" tried to "break" "into" "my" account, and now it's "froooozennnn." Good thing I know French!

I wonder if everyone who got that old spam got this new one too? Or maybe just those who "failed" to act…

I got this a little while ago. Scary stuff.

[Begin Email]

From: paypal@securesuit.net
Subject: PayPal
Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 02:39:57 +0100

We recently have determined that different computers have logged onto your Paypal account, and multiple password failures were present before the logons. We now need you to re-confirm your account information to us. If this is not completed by March 20, 2008, we will be forced to suspend your account indefinitely, as it may have been used for fraudulent purposes. We thank you for your cooperation in this manner. To confirm your Online Banking records click on the following link: >>> Click here <<< Thank you for your patience in this matter. Paypal Customer Service. Please do not reply to this e-mail as this is only a notification. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered. 1999-2008 PayPal. All rights reserved.

[End Email]

Like most companies, I believe PayPal will never ask you to confirm anything via email. And of course, securesuit.net is not PayPal.

Lots of people use PayPal. I was just thinking that the difference between PayPal and a normal bank is that PayPal is probably far more universally used and recognized. So a scammer catering to PayPal customers would have a much larger "sucker" pool.

Don't be a sucker! If you get a message like that, forward it to spoof@paypal.com.

Man! I'm so rich, I know so many professional people, and I'm in such good standing with Nigeria these days! I can't wait to spend my millions of dollars…

[Begin Email]

From: "UNITED NATIONS"
Subject: ATM FROM CBN
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:36:15 -0800

From The Desk Of
Prof. Charles Soludo
Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
SUBJECT: Immediate Release of Your FUND Via ATM CARD

Attention: ATM Card Beneficiary,
I wish to use this medium to inform you that your CONTRACT/INHERITANCE
Payment of USD$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States Dollars) from
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA have been RELEASED and APPROVED for onward
transfer to you via an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw all the
USD$10,000,000.00 in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world,
but the maximum you can withdraw in a day is USD$10,000.00 Only
We have mandated CITI BANK IN NIGERIA to send you the ATM CARD and
PIN NUMBER which you will use to withdraw all your USD$10 Million
Dollars in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world, but the
maximum you can withdraw in a day is USD$10,000.00 Only.
You are therefore advice to contact the Head of ATM CARD Department of
CITIBANK NIGERIA
Contact Person: DR MICHEAL BROWN
TEL 234 80 22348461 OR 234 7027682725

Tell DR MICHEAL BROWN that you received a message from the CENTRAL
BANK OF NIGERIA. Instructing him to send you the ATM CARD and PIN
NUMBER which you will use to withdraw your USD$10 Million Dollars in
any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any part of the world, also send him your
direct phone number and contact address where you want him to send the
ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER to you As you will take care of the little
insurance and shipment fees
We are very sorry for the plight you have gone through in the past
years. Thanks for adhering to this instruction and once again accept
our congratulations.
Best Regards.
Mrs brown
for
Prof. Charles C. Soludo.
Executive Governor,
Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).

[End Email]

Sent from frnpresidency@gmail.com. Wow, a foreign Presidency? Wow, gMail?! I must really be making an impression.

Professor Soludo is so nice to acknowledge the "the plight [I] have gone through in the past years." How very kind. It has been tough. What with everything going on, and all. It will be nice to finally have access to an ATM card that can withdraw more than a couple hundred bucks at a time. $10,000, here I come! But I wonder if I can tweak things so that I can eliminate all those extra trips? It would be really great if I could just walk right up to the corner ATM, the one with the card-washing station, and withdraw the full Ten Million in one fell swoop. I think I'll give that a try tonight!

***Update: It didn't work.

Ha ha, fooled you! I didn't really try it. I just thought it was funny to picture someone going up to a random ATM and planning on taking out $10 million! That's crazy…

By the way, just in case you hadn't heard about this before, a card-washing station next to an ATM is usually a means for thieves to gain access to your card information and or funds. So don't wash your cards! Dirt is back in style.