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Microsoft, Yahoo, and Facebook at School: A Bully's Journey


Microsoft still wants to buy Yahoo. And maybe Facebook?

This is wild. I guess originally Microsoft said, "Yo Yahoo! Get over here, gimme your lunch money."

And Yahoo said, "Aaaaahhhh!" and ran home to his brother, a karate instructor, who taught him the martial arts in four hours.

The next day, Yahoo saw Microsoft at school. Microsoft said, "Yahoo! Glad to see ya, gimme your lunch money."

"HIYYAAAAHH!!" Yahoo yelled, landing a punch on Microsoft.

Microsoft didn't even flinch, the punch didn't hurt, he was fine, but people all around were remarking to each other that, "Wow, Yahoo can take care of himself!" "Yeah, Yahoo's tough!"

Microsoft had wanted a quick fix, lunch money with no resistance. He didn't know Yahoo would put up a fight.

At home that day, Microsoft regroups, and thinks things out. Maybe he'll have to… play nice.

So Microsoft lets a week go by, allowing the bulk of Yahoo's congratulations to wear off.

Then at school, Microsoft goes over during lunch and says, "Hey Yahoo? Why don't we team up? Together we could Rule the School!"

Yahoo says, in a newly practiced calm cool way, "I'll think about it."

Microsoft, silently infuriated, walks over to Facebook's table. "I never thought about this before, but right now it makes sense. If I can't get Yahoo, I'll get Facebook instead," he thinks.

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