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Archive for February, 2008

RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT (Email Spam)

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Nigeria, how could you? You are doing yourself a disservice by sending these messages…

[Begin Email]

Date: 27 Feb 2008 08:51:16 -0500
Subject: RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT
From: "MR.ROGER BERNALDEZ."

OFFICE OF THE SENATE HOUSE

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA

COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT

(RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT)

IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA

Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB.

Your Ref.

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR INHERITANCE

FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS

BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT
OF

YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE
NONE>

OFFICIALS IN THE BANK YOUR ENTIRE ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE

FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THESE

HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED

TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR

PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC THAT IS THE

LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR. PRESIDENT, UMARU YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL

REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FBI.

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO

WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT
THE

MAXIMUM IS TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE
YOU

FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE INTERNATIONAL

MONETARY FUNDS DEPARTMENT CARD PAYMENT CENTER MR. CHARLES BROWN ON HIS

EMAIL charlybrow12345@yahoo.it

ADDRESS: AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING

INFORMATION:

1. YOUR FULL NAME:

2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:

3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD:

4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION:

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT

USD6.3MILLION AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2007. ALSO FOR YOUR
INFORMATION,

YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S)

OR OFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT. FOR ORAL

DISCUSSION, EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE

FOR FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE

ABOVE-MENTIONED OFFICE. NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY

ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-822) SO YOU HAVE TO
INDICATE

THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

KINDEST REGARDS,

MR. ROGER BERNALDEZ.

SENATE PRESIDENT

[End Email]

Charlie Brown! What a ridiculous email: charlybrow12345@yahoo.it It's like a child chose it. And it's supposed to belong to the international monetary funds department card payment center representative… Yeah right!

This is one of the very few times when a piece of spam has warned me that not cooperating is illegal. "WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THESE HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT…" Some of this stuff just makes me feel sick. Sick for the people who come up with this stuff. Sick for the people who play along, hoping to get rich somehow. Sick for all the dishonesty involved, and for the destructive nature of this venture. All these efforts could be turned toward more constructive pursuits, but no… Let's tear down society for a few quick bucks, one ignorant person at a time.

Multi-State Lottery Association (Email Spam)

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

I am amassing quite a fortune. I should really think about looking into Swedish banking!

[Begin Email]

Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2008 06:20:28 -0600 (CST)
Subject: Hello!
From: "Multi-State Lottery Association"

Draw Details:
Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414
Batch Number: 573881545-NL/2006
Ticket draw Number: 2, 19, 22, 26, 32,
"Hot Ball: 16" WINNER ONLY

You have won one of our Jackpot prizes. You have won yourself a cash
prize
of $2.490 Million USD (Two million Four Hundred And Ninety Thousand
United States Dollars)

An e-mail address attached to Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414
Batch Number:573881545-NL/2006
Ticket draw Number: 2, 19, 22, 26, 32,

Contact our claims officer:
Mr.Roland White Email: vwd033@strompost.net
_________________________________________
Send your information for immediate payment: Name In Full,Address In
Full,Telephone/Fax number In Full,Nationality, Age,Country,Occupation

Yours faithfully,
Online co-ordinator
Donald Baldwin.

[End Email]

What a weird name for a claims officer: Mr. Roland White Email. Who names their kid Email? Anyway, I'm glad I won the full $2.490 Million. That's 2 million, plus 400 thousand, plus ninety thousand, plus zero thousand. It's a good thing they kept that zero on there, otherwise I might have missed out on all that "extra" cash! In order to contact them, I plan (no, not really) on sending them my Name In Full, my Address In Full, my Telephone/Fax number In Full, but then only part of my Nationality, the "tens" digit of my Age, the first three letters of my Country, and an abbreviation of my Occupation!

Hey wait, did this come from a Baldwin Brother?

COMPENSATION & THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT EFFORTS. (Email Spam)

Monday, February 25th, 2008

I rule so much. Why doesn't anybody recognize how much I rule? At least Morrison Esq. is aware of all my great efforts. (Singing:) I can't wait for payday…

[Begin Email]

Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2008 22:30:47 -0500
From: "Morrison Esq."
Subject: COMPENSATION & THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT EFFORTS.

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds
transferred under the co-operation of a new partner from Paraguay.
Presently I'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share
of the total sum.

It may interest you to note that I didn't forget your past efforts
and attempts to assist me in transferring the funds though you were
not able to see it through for whatever reasons. After due
consideration, I have decided to compensate you for your efforts.

I have issued a check of $800,000 for you and had to drop it with
Karolla Express Courier Service in Nigeria and you are to contact them
with the following information as stated below for re-affirmation and
to ensure a safe delivery.

Full Name: ………………………
Address: ………………………..
Phone Number: ……………………

Note that the shipment fee and the insurance of the check has been
paid by me and the only fee you will be required to pay is $220
being the security charges for duration the check has been in their
possession. I would have made the payment but I do not know when
you will get in touch with them as the charges increases with the
amount of days they secure it. Endeavour you contact them immediately
before the security charge increases with days.

You are to contact them through the information as stated below
and note that the only fee you are to pay is the Security Charges
as every other stable fees has been paid.

Karolla Express Service Nigeria
EMAIL: karollacourierservices@strompost.com
Tel: +(234)-807-782-2142

I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which I
and my partner are involved in. Note that I have instructed
Karolla Express on your behalf to this effect. Get in touch with them
and they will ensure you get the check.

Thanks once again for all you effort during the course of the
transfer.

[End Email]

They sure don't want that much personal information. Heck, all they'd need is a phone book to get some random person's name, address, and phone number. Oh, I see, they want the $220 "security charge," which will likely be higher by the time I contact them (as if!). I wonder what kind of investment project Morrison and his partner are involved in to keep them so busy? Maybe some sort of security charge hustle?

In the real world, large sums of money rarely get transferred around as rewards for "efforts." The cash only changes hands in the event of solid results. So that's dumb. But some people are desperate, and deeply want to believe in the power of human kindness — and free money.

Lately I've developed a theory that some of these spammer-scammers have created their own moral judgement system for who is a worthy con. They craft an email in such a way that anyone they hook must be dishonest. Like, "I forgot the name of the person I'm going to pay half a million bucks to. Is it you?" That way, anybody who answers will be lying, and therefore "deserve" to be conned out of their hard-earned cash.

Chen Hsongs Holdings Limited RECEIVING AGENT/REPRESENTATIVE (Email Spam)

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

I got this one today. It freaked me out because I remember getting a similar one in the past, and at the time I was a little bit closer to taking it seriously. I had read the earlier "opportunity" over with some curiosity and doubt, and I think I ended up dismissing it more because I figured they contacted the wrong guy (what training did I have in order to qualify for the position?), and less because I realized it was a scam. Yikes! Don't you hate it when you catch your previous self in a moment of ignorance?

[Begin Email]

Subject: Hello
From: "Chen Hsongs Holdings Limited"
Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:13:38 +0300 (MSK)

Dear Sir/madam,

I am the GBM (Chairman) of Chen Hsong Holdings Limited This Company
Established since 1958. After half a century of endless efforts, Chen
Hsong has grown from a small machinery workshop to one of the largest
manufacturers of injection moulding machines in the world.Chen Hsong
Holdings Limited, Produces, Exclusive circular platen (patended), ichen
shop- floor Networked management system, Ductile iron casting and
machining, Jetmaster minijet series, Jetmaster MKIV series, Jetmaster large
series, CHEN-PET Two-stage preform moulding turnkey system, jetmaster C
Series, E.T.C. Due to long association with our suppliers and our thorough
understanding of the working condition in the Industry; It is upon
this note that we are writing you this mail to seek your assistance in
representing our
company in your locality as our RECEIVING AGENT/REPRESENTATIVE.One who
will act as a medium for our clients in those locality to be reaching
us with their payments and so on. Note that as a receiving Agent of
our company,You will be entitled to TEN Percent Payment of any amount you
receive from our customers We seek your Sincere cooperation and
assistance to establish a cordial relationship with our clients.To facilitate
the conclusion of this proposal if accepted,Please send us
the following Information

1) Your Full name…………..and present occupation…………

2) Telephone number…………..and Fax…………..

3) Contact address…………….

4) Age…………….

Thanks in anticipation.
Regards,
Dr. Chiang Chen
GBM (Chairman)
Chen Hsong Holdings Limited

[End Email]

So obviously they're not looking for anyone specific. Sirs and madams of the world, your destiny awaits! What can these guys do knowing your full name, age, address, phone/fax number, and job? Does this scam hinge on identity theft? Do these people call up some organization, claim to be you, and then get the info they need to open credit cards in your name? Or do they string you along somehow, and instruct you to ignorantly fulfill various random tasks, contributing to the world's supply of evil?

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: The email in question was a scam. It was sent to illegally gather the recipient's personal information. I posted it here for commentary purposes only, in an effort to shed some light on the situation. I am neither affiliated with the email senders, nor do I wish to act on their behalf.

So please don't add a comment posting your personal details. Thank you.

IRISH NATIONAL LOTTERY (Email Spam)

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

A little while back I got notice that I've done it again — I've struck it rich through sheer will power!

[Begin Email]

Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 19:45:55 -0500
From: "IRISH NATIONAL LOTTERY"
Subject: Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05

The Irish Lottery
47 Meadow Vale, Sligo, Ireland.
Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05
Batch: R3/A312-59

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
We are pleased to announce to you the draw of the IRISH LOTTERY
PROGRAMME online Sweepstakes International Programme held on the 3rd
Feburary 2008

Your e-mail address attached to the winning ticket number: 56475600545
188 with Serial number 5368/05 drew the lucky numbers:
10,13,24,24,25,36,41,08 which subsequently won the JACKPOT. You have
therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 1,967,932GBP in cash
credited
to file KTU/9023118308/05 of Irish Lottery.

All participants for the online version were selected randomly from the
World Wide Web through a computer draw system and extracted from over
100,000 unions, associations, and corporate bodies that are listed
online. This promotion takes place weekly.
Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European
booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play
coupon.

In view of this, your 1,967,932GBP would be released to you by any of
our payment offices in Europe(UK).
To file for your claim, you are to fill the form and contact our
authorized claim agent in the UK(Europe) on the details below:

Mr,Agent Ken Collins
Email:ken_collins011@hotmail.com
1. Ticket number:….
2. Batch number:….
3. Serial number:….
4. Amount won:…..
5. FULL NAMES:….
6. DATE OF BIRTH:…
7. SEX:…
8. MARITAL STATUS:….
9. CONTACT ADDRESS:…
10.TELEPHONE NUMBER:….
11.OCCUPATION:….
12.ANNUAL INCOME;…

Good luck from me and members of staff of the Irish Lottery.
Sincerely
Rev.Garry Philips
Online Co-coordinator for IRISH LOTTERY SWEEPSTAKE PROGRAMME 2008.

[End Email]

It's interesting reading this thing. "Your e-mail address … won the JACKPOT … a total sum of 1,967,932GBP in cash…. All participants for the online version were selected randomly from the World Wide Web…. This promotion takes place weekly." Wow, what an interesting economic tactic, to just give away gobs of money every week to people in other countries. And they don't even charge for tickets! Where does all that money come from?

…The Devil!

COSTA COFFEE COMPANY PLC JOB OFFER!!! WORK FROM HOME!!! (Email Spam)

Monday, February 18th, 2008

I'm going to be rich. You do not understand. I've found the answer! The solution to all my financial woes! Finally I can get that new toaster…

[Begin Email]

Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2008 13:25:18 -0600 (CST)
Subject: JOB OFFER!!! WORK FROM HOME!!!.
From: "COSTA COFFEE COMPANY PLC"

JOB OFFER!!! WORK FROM HOME!!!.

DATE:18th February,2008
FROM:COSTA COFFEE COMPANY PLC.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Would you like to Work Online from home and get paid
Weekly without leaving or affecting your present Job?
COSTA COFFEE COMPANY PLC.Needs a Book-Keeper in USA.
We have Customers that we supply weekly around the world.Our
Customers make payments for our supplies every week in form of
Money Orders,Bankers Draft and Cashier's Checks,Checks which are
not readily Cashable Outside the United States and the country of
issuance.

All you Need to do is to Receive payment from Customers.
Get it Cashed at your Bank or any Financial
institution that does such tasks, then
Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any
of the offices you will be contacted to send
payment to.(Payment is to forwarded either by Money Gram or
Western Union Money Transfer).
For example you've got 4000.00USD
You take your income: 400.00 USD (10%)
Send to us: 3600.00 USD

You'll have a lot of free time doing another job,you'll get good
income and regular job.
N/B: IF INTERESTED PLEASE REPLY TO MR FRANK JAMES AT
costa.coffee5687@googlemail.com WITH THE DETAILS BELOW :
=======================================
APPLICATION FORM FOR COSTA COFFEE COMPANY PLC.
FULL NAMES:_________________________________
GENDER:_________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH:_________________________________
NATIONALITY:_________________________________
COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:_________________________________
MARITAL STATUS:_________________________________
HOME ADDRESS (Where payment will be sent to{NO P.O BOX ADDRESS})
STREET:_________________________________
CITY:_________________________________
STATE:_________________________________
ZIP CODE:_________________________________
PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER:_________________________________

Thank you for your time.
I Await your Urgent Response.

Mr.Frank James,
DIRECTOR,INTERNATIONAL TRANSACTION.
COSTA COFFEE COMPANY PLC HEAD OFFICE
996 RAMA 9 RD,BANGKAPI..BANGKOK…THAILAND

[End Email]

So, great! They have me deposit a bogus check, and I feel a tad wealthier. Then I pay my own good money to a third party. Soon after, their original check bounces, and I've lost the money I paid out. So who makes money? Only their "offices."

CLAIM__YOUR__DONATION !!! (Email Spam)

Friday, February 15th, 2008

Maybe it's because I've started to pay attention to these "You've Got Money" emails, but it seems like I'm getting more lately. Not a lot, just enough to set a trend.

[Begin Email]

Eglise catholique en France

http://www.cef.fr/

Qualification numbers (CEF-080-2998-2996)
Congratulations 30th anniversary program, We are giving out a yearly
donation of
US$850,000.00 (Eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars only) to 100
lucky recipients, ECOWAS.
To file for your claim you
are to fill out below information and send it to the Executive
Secretary Via their email contact email address
:revjeanlouis2@strompost.com
Claims Requirements:
1. Full Name:……………………………….
2. Address:…………………………………
3. Nationality:……………………………..
4. Age:………. Date of Birth:……………..
5. Occupation:……………………………….
6. Phone:…………….Fax:…………………
7. State of Origin:………..Country:……………
Regards.
Rev. François Édouard.

[End Email]

Most organizations that come to be aware of your existence will reach out and ask for your donation to them. But this organization just randomly gives away gobs of money! Maybe it wants to stimulate the economy…

Email Spam Used As Comment Spam!

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

A little while ago I posted an email I got (spam) called BMW UK LOTTERY Esteemed Winner!!. Usually, I expect to receive such notices solely by email. But then I found a new "comment" here at Misinterpreted.org that wasn't filtered as spam. Wouldn't you know it, the subject was regarding a win in the BMW Lottery! But the weird part? It wasn't posted as a comment to my BMW Lottery post. It was a comment on a completely different post, Speedlinking – December 20, 2007!

Here's the full text:

[Begin Comment]

THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY, UK
2007 INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION,
CLAIMS DEPARTMENT.
22 Garden Close, Stamford,
Lincs, PE9 2YP, London
United Kingdom. Jenuary,2008.
REF NO:BMW:2551256003/23

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of ã500,000.00 (Five hundred Thousand Great British pounds) and brand new BMW 3 Series Car in this year BMW LOTTERY PROGRAMME.
To claim your prize Contact the claim office with the under listed informations as soon as possible:
Name :
Address :
Country :
Age :
Sex :
Occupation :
Phone :
Fax :
==========================================
Fiduciary Claims Department (FCD),
Fred Verra
Email:bmwlottery88@yahoo.co.uk
=======================================
Please you are to provide him with the above listed details as soon as possible so he can begin with the processing of your prize winnings.

Regards,

Engr. Holland Burridge
Online Co-ordinator.

[End Comment]

It doesn't make any sense, does it? I mean, apart from happening in Jenuary! But seriously, why would the Online Co-ordinator inform the winner of a lottery in plain view of the public? "Everybody wins!" Maybe Engr. Holland Burridge figured I wouldn't approve the comment, and instead keep it to myself. If that were the case, Burridge would probably have been hoping that I took the message seriously, and that I would promptly provide my personal profile. Poor perfomance, Burridge!

"Everybody Gets What They Want On Valentine's" – JCPenney

Monday, February 11th, 2008

Today, I watched some television. Hard to believe that someone with such an apparently intense disdain for TV's ads would "stoop" to sitting through a few, right? Well, it depends. Some shows are on equal footing with the ads they display. By that I mean that the show puts you in a mood where you'll enjoy ads of similar content. But other times, the situation is just incredibly different. Like watching "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles." That show is so far above anything else on television that it makes the accompanying ads just seem pointless. There's no hope for the ads to be "as good" as the show. So I tend to mute them.

At one point, watching a muted ad today, which may or may not have been broadcast during "Terminator," I realized this specific ad can be interpreted differently when there's no sound to confuse you. Yes, I do mean "confuse you," because there are hidden messages in this ad that you probably wouldn't pick up on while listening to some disembodied sales voice try to convince you do go out and buy.

This was a Valentines Day ad from JCPenney. Maybe you've seen it. Maybe you will see it. It probably won't make an impression on you, unless you mute it. Then you'd see what I saw.

What did I see? A heart-shaped pennant on a necklace, swinging back and forth. "Your eyes are getting heavy…" No big deal, right? I think they did that with two different necklaces. "Get her one of these, she'll love it," was the idea. But that's not what they really said. The truth is far more interesting.

At one point on the screen, there was a very clear message. On a solid back background, bright white letters spelled out a sentence similar to this: "Everybody Gets What They Want On Valentine's." Yeah, they sure do, next commercial…

…Waiiiit!

Let's think about this. JCPenney is selling jewelry, more specifically jewelry for women. Who buys this in preparation for Valentine's Day? Guys do. So if everybody gets what they want, and women will get what they want (jewelry), what will guys get?

What do guys want?

Guys want sex. JCPenney is saying, "Buy her our jewelry, and she'll be sure to put out."

That's just the "subtle" vibe I got from watching a harmless commercial without the sound. I guess it's like playing a rock record backwards…

Judas Priest is God!

**Note: After seeing the ad a second time, finally with the sound on, it has become apparent that the hypnosis idea was an intended gag. One of the audible voices says something along the lines of, "When you're happy, I'm happy." Then the primary message pops up, something like, "This is the day everybody gets what they want." In this new context, I think my original conclusion still makes sense.

The YAZ Pill: "We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore!"

Friday, February 8th, 2008

The first time I saw the commercial for the new birth control pill Yaz, I wondered at their choice of music that was supposed to pump everybody up and get them psyched. The song was "We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore," sung by women (as opposed to Twisted Sister).

Sure, the music has a good beat, and is energetic. But the words! Listen to the words! It's like, "We just came out with this new pill, and we're not going to take it! Neither should you."

Obviously, the choice of song was meant to emphasize that women everywhere need no longer accept the devastation that can come with normal body functions. Minimizing discomfort is a product highlight, so the idea is, "We're not going to just accept a painful situation when this new pill can fix it!" But still, the lyrics seem even more perfect for the idea that YAZ is bad, and women everywhere should never take it again.

Sometimes I see a commercial and it just makes me feel sad for America. I used to just accept commercials. "That's how things are." But when you realize what a commercial is, and what it's trying to do, it loses its appeal and easy acceptability. A commercial is a brainwashing device. It is trying to control your thoughts, behavior, actions, and spending patterns. That's why even the smoothest of the smooth commercials can seem evil. Indeed, I think the smoother a commercial is, the worse it is, because it's better at manipulating the public for its own selfish ends. To manipulate the public effectively, it has to convince us all that doing X is good for us. But why should we really do X? So companies can make money. Of course, successful consumer manipulation is great from a business perspective. But commercials like that are bad from a "leave me alone I'm an American and this is a free country" perspective. Then there's that whole argument that, "Well if it bothers you so much, don't watch TV." Forget that! Try muting the commercials, channel surfing, or if you've got DVR, just kill the suckers and zoom to the future.

Honestly, sometimes I do think about giving up TV altogether just because of the advertising, especially when it pops up during a program.

But Super Bowl commercials are a different story. They're cool, man! Well, most of them. GoDaddy's was kind of lame.